Weasel Stomping Day
by tiff0795
Summary: Based on the song by "Weird Al" Yankovic. The annual festival has come to Berk much to the teenager's disappointment.  First humor HTTYD fanfic.


It was sunrise on the isle of Berk. There was no dragon training today, so Hiccup was sleeping in. Toothless lay curled up sleeping beside Hiccup's bed. The sky was full of the brightness of dawn, although it did not show through the fur cover over the window.

In the quite stillness of the room of the teenage Viking and his Night Fury, Stoick charged in. He almost broke the door off the hinges as he shoved his way into his son's room.

Toothless woke with a start. He realized it was just Stoick and sighed in relief. He had a bucket of water in his arms. He had his Viking helmet on and boots, but no armor.

Hiccup was still fast asleep. It is hard enough waking up a teenager, but when that teenager happens to be a Viking; it is like trying to wake up the dead.

Stoick tossed the contents of the bucket at Hiccup, who bolted upright as he felt the ice cold liquid on him.

"I can't believe you're still sleeping!" Stoick said.

"I was," Hiccup muttered then yawned "I have the day off."

"Because of the holiday!" Stoick said with excitement.

"What holiday?" Hiccup asked.

Stoick laughed. "It came by so fast, I know. You get your gear on and meet me for breakfast. We need a lot of energy today!" he said as he made his way out the door, shutting the door behind him.

Toothless gave Hiccup a confused look. Hiccup shrugged in response. He removed the cover from the window. The sight he saw outside made him groan.

"Oh no," he muttered. Toothless went by him to look out the window.

There where weasels. So many weasels that it looked like the brown ground was moving.

Hiccup sighed as he got his boots from underneath his bed. "It's that time of year, Toothless," he said as he put the boot on his one foot. The dragon gave a confused snort. Hiccup walked over to his desk where his breast hat was lying.

"It's weasel stomping day," Hiccup said as he grabbed the hat by the horns. He let it swing down to his side as he walked out the door to meet his father.

"It's where we stomp on as many weasels as we can in one day," Hiccup said. "Don't ask me why we do it. I think it's because the first Viking that sailed here accidentally stepped on a weasel before he actually stepped on the ground of Berk. So now every year we stomp on weasels and then burn them. Gobber raises them year-round just for this day."

Hiccup sat at the table across from Stoick and looked at his plate. There was some kind of meat on it. Stoick was shoveling the food into his mouth. He looked at Hiccup waiting for him to eat. Hiccup picked at his food and took several small, unwilling bites. Stoick was convinced and turned his attention back to his food. While his father's attention was off of him, Hiccup swallowed the small mouthful of meat then scraped the rest on the floor for Toothless, who quickly cleaned it up.

When Stoick was done, he gave Hiccup a jar. It had something white in it. "Spread this on the ground around the house. Then you can join the celebration," he said as he went out the door.

Hiccup went outside and saw his home town in utter chaos. People where crushing weasels left and right. The awful shriek of the rodents pierced the air.

Hiccup knelt down and scraped all of the white stuff out of the jar. Toothless used his tail to smear an even coat around the chief's house. The young Viking stood up and scanned the scene before him. He saw all of the teenagers in a group. Astrid was standing there not moving a muscle. Snotlout was parading around her, stomping any weasel that dared get in his way. Ruffnut and Tuffnut where playing tug-of-war with a weasel. Fishlegs was rambling off random facts.

Hiccup walked over to the group, accidentally stepping of five weasels. He winced every time he heard the distinct crunching noise.

"Why can't we have any normal holidays?" Hiccup wondered out loud.

"Just stomp on some rodents and act like you're having fun," Astrid said.

"But it's wrong! We're raising them all year and then killing them off in one day!" Hiccup exclaimed.

"Actually, two weasels that are chosen by the chief are kept to start the litter for next year," Fishlegs said.

"But two out of two hundred?" Hiccup asked.

"Hiccup, don't worry about your conscience," Tuffnut said. Ruffnut finally ended the tug-of-war as she got the weasel and crushed it beneath her boot.

"Yeah, Hiccup, it's tradition," Ruffnut said.

"And that makes it ok?" Hiccup asked.

"Pretty much, I mean, you can't fight tradition," Snotlout said.

"Well, I did," Hiccup muttered.

"That was different," Snotlout responded. Hiccup was going to ask how in Thor's name it was different when a gong sounded.

"Attention to our young Vikings!" Gobber shouted. All of the teenagers turned to the sound of his voice. "Whichever one of you stomps on the most weasels and brings them to your fire pit by the time it lights tonight gets off of laundry duty for two months!"

The six teens looked at each other. Laundry duty was when one of them had to do the laundry of every single person on the isle.

"Starting now," Gobber said and beat the gong. The six teens scrambled off in different directions.

Some of the adults where still crushing the rodents while others that had their fill for the day where stacking them by the adult fire pit. They figured the young ones were not getting into it. They needed some motivation.

By the time night fell, there where six piles of dead weasels around the teenager's fire pit. All together they probably had half of the weasels. They all looked about the same size. Stoick came to the pit.

"So which one belongs to who?" he asked. The teens looked at each other then at the piles. Yeah, they probably should have marked them. "Well, if we can't remember which is which, it wouldn't be fair to give out any awards, would it?" The kids moaned thinking that they just got gypped. Stoick ignored them and started them on Weasel Stomping Day songs as he threw the weasels in the fire.

"Has Gobber ever told you the legend of the weasel?" Stoick asked when they where done. Everyone shook their head.

"Well, I know I've told Hiccup this," Stoick said as he leaned back on a log. "It was the fateful day when Vikings first sailed here. The chief stepped out of the ship to claim this land for the Hairy Hooligans. As he did, though, he stepped on a weasel. Thinking nothing of it, he led his tribe to set up civilization. Well, every night after that, the ghost of that weasel would haunt him in his sleep. Shrieks from the rodent coming from the deepest parts of his dream."

"Don't worry, it's just a story to get us scared," Hiccup said.

"Scared the begeebers out of you when you where little," Stoick said. "Anyways, one night, the chief never woke up. Do you know what happened?" Stoick got blank stares from every one except Hiccup, who just rolled his eyes. "The weasel killed him."

It took all of Hiccup's will power not to laugh out loud. "And so now, on this night, every year, the weasel seeks his revenge. He seeks it on the latest generation of the Hairy Hooligans. Preferably, the offspring of the chief," Stoick said.

"So what are you saying, I'm cursed?" Hiccup said with a laugh, though none of his friend where.

"Bah, you're right, it's just a story to scare ya guys," Stoick said. Everyone seemed to loosen up a little bit. "So you don't believe it, Hiccup?"

"No, how could I believe something like that?" Hiccup said.

"You're right, but um…if you don't believe it, don't look behind you," Stoick said.

The smile faded on Hiccup's face as he and the rest of the group slowly turned around. There was a Viking sized beaten up weasel. It was foaming at the mouth that was hovering inches above Hiccup's face. If Berk thought the weasel's shrieks where bad, they changed their minds when they heard those six young adults. Everyone rushed away from Hiccup like he had the black plague and Hiccup started backing up.

Hiccup started screaming in Old Norse. Something about evil spirits. Then the weasel laughed. Hiccup realized that its laugh sounded a lot like Gobber's.

Stoick started laughing as Gobber washed the dye off of his face. The teens all loosened up. Hiccup was about ready to pass out.

"Oh, you should have saw your face, boy, it was priceless!" Gobber said.

"That was not funny," Astrid said, her face hard as stone.

"Aw, come on, we where just having a little bit of fun," Stoick said.

"Now I have a phobia of weasels," Hiccup muttered.

"Aw come on, you can take a joke," Gobber said, picking Hiccup up off of the ground.

"Well, we should go," Stoick said as he and Gobber made his way to the adult fire.

What the kids said after that is not important. What is important is the fact that Fishlegs gave, which is that weasels reproduce very rapidly and the isle of Hysteria has a lot of them.

To make a long story short, Gobber and Stoick now have weasels haunting them in their sleep.


End file.
